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Be Self-Focused

Being self-focused is not selfish! We are conditioned and trained into obedience, into appeasing others, into making sure we don’t upset other people's feelings. We're all getting up every day, trying to fit into boxes, not for ourselves but for other people. We end up all getting so drained and empty.
How can we possibly be our best selves and offer or serve anyone or anything when we’re in that state? We are too drained and empty!
Any self-focus is framed as selfish. It’s not. This is something I want to be clear about. You must put yourself first. What we’re really talking about here are priorities. You need to be your own top priority.

Society has conditioned us out of this idea. It even shames us for it. Somehow, making sure you’re taking care of yourself and that you’re operating at optimal levels is less important than attending to everything and everyone else in your life.
But you can't function optimally from that empty place. How can you feed anything, let alone your Soul’s purpose, if you are starving?
You add no value when you're empty and drained. This is how we have ended up in a society where we're driving down the road with everyone honking at each other and already upset at 9am! Most people are going to jobs they hate, plugging into a system they resent, and not taking care of themselves. When you try to satisfy the system and put your focus on it, you end up dissatisfied in life.
Think about it. If you are sitting in traffic at 9 am and you’re already upset, how is this setting you up for anything good in your day or your life? You’re officially showing up and starting your morning as a sub-par version of yourself, accepting that you are going to be draining yourself further throughout your day until you come home exhausted, only to sleep and repeat the cycle tomorrow.
People wonder why they resent everything in their lives and why everyone around them appears so miserable.
It’s because they’re not acting in spirit.
The word inspiration means to be in spirit or to have spirit run through your veins. Whenever you are not in spirit, you are Soulless. If you follow me on social media, you may know that I collect dictionaries. I found this definition in an amazing, beautifully ancient dictionary.
When not in spirit, you are not serving your own Soul.
Don’t get me wrong. I think we should all be respectful humans. But stop being a people pleaser. It’s hurting you!
I was a people pleaser before, just like everyone else. I just changed my approach after learning how different it feels to operate from a place of putting myself first. I realized I can show up as the 10/10 human I know I am when I put in the right maintenance.
You need to put your greatest contribution into yourself, becoming a better human so you have more to contribute to the world. You will no longer operate from a place of empty. Because you are full, you show up and serve from a place of joy. You are a joy to be around, and it’s easier to love being around others too. You aren’t the same person, honking and yelling in traffic at 9 am!
When you take time in your days to focus on yourself and invest in yourself to become the best person you can become, you show up differently in the world. If everyone did this, the world would be a radically different place. If everyone put themselves first and interacted with others from a place of being their happiest, best selves, the world would be a much better place.
Let me be clear and repeat this. You must show up for yourself. It is your responsibility to show up for yourself. First and foremost.
This is not just the most beneficial way to operate. It is the only way to operate.
Let’s look at some definitions for a moment again, just to drive home my point. You know I love definitions!
What is the original etymology of selfish? In the 17c., synonyms included self-seeking (1620s), self-ended and self-ful.
Interesting, isn’t it? Self-ful doesn't sound that bad to me. The original term selfish actually is connected to self fulfilling.
Let’s dive a little deeper into the original meanings of self- fulfilling.

self-fulfilling (noun)
Self-fulfilling: marked by or achieving self-fulfillment.

Now let’s look at the modern definition of selfish.

selfish (adjective)
Disapproving: having or showing concern only for yourself and not for the needs or feelings of other people: concerned excessively or exclusively with oneself.

The original meanings of these words were positive, while the modern version is expressed and defined negatively, in line with how the system discourages one from putting oneself first and would rather everyone molded with the herd. Modern definitions even attach the word ‘disapproving’ to selfish, openly labeling it as not acceptable behavior. And if that wasn't enough to damn the word, they added the importance of putting the needs and feelings of others first by saying that being selfish is NOT doing that.
Interesting how even the definitions and words, and how they are used, can place expectations on us. That’s why I know you probably feel guilty whenever you put yourself first. You have been living as a people pleaser for too long, conditioned to believe that it is wrong to put yourself first. You feel selfish. But society really needs to reframe what it views as ‘selfish.’ You need not feel guilty for putting yourself FIRST!
You need to live intentionally and ground into some serious self-love practices to set yourself up for happiness, success, and longevity in this Game of Life.
Why always pay into other people's buckets, other people's agendas, other people's forward action plans while yours is empty?
You must operate at an optimal level to fulfill your highest purpose. The better you operate, the better you can play this Game of Life.
Invest as much as you can in paying yourself forward by putting yourself first. This will help the rest of your Game immensely. You are not being selfish. Focusing on yourself is the best gift you can give yourself. It’s super important that you do so to really make gains in this Game.
The world will have you rushing to please others and filling your home, life and calendar to the point that YOU don't even exist anymore or your existence has no joy.

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