Restricting Access to Those Who Abuse You by Adeline Atlas
May 20, 2025The Power of Becoming Unreachable
"I become unreachable to those who had all access and abused it."
This isn’t about revenge. It’s about self-respect.
It’s about recognizing that your time, energy, and emotional well-being are valuable—and that not everyone deserves access to you.
If someone has repeatedly disrespected your boundaries, manipulated your kindness, or taken advantage of your generosity, it’s time to make a shift.
The most powerful thing you can do? Take back control of your access.
Recognizing Abuse of Access
When someone abuses their access to you, it often happens slowly.
It starts with small oversteps. A favor here, a guilt trip there. A little disrespect disguised as a joke.
And before you know it, you’re drained, anxious, and resentful.
Signs someone is abusing their access to you:
- They constantly demand your time and energy but offer nothing in return.
- They disrespect your boundaries and push you past your limits.
- They manipulate you with guilt, obligation, or fear.
- You feel anxious or exhausted after interacting with them.
- They show up only when they need something but disappear when you need support.
Sound familiar?
This is not just an unhealthy dynamic—it’s an energy leak.
And if you don’t fix it, it will continue to drain you.
The Emotional Impact of Allowing Unrestricted Access
Every time you allow someone to repeatedly overstep your boundaries, you send a silent message:
"I don’t fully respect myself, so I allow others not to respect me either."
Ouch.
That’s a tough truth to face, but an important one.
Because when you allow someone to mistreat you, it doesn’t just affect that one relationship—it affects every area of your life.
- It lowers your self-esteem.
- It increases anxiety and stress.
- It conditions you to accept mistreatment in other areas.
- It drains your energy, making it harder to focus on what actually matters.
This is why becoming unreachable to those who abuse their access is an act of self-preservation.
How to Restrict Access Without Guilt
Setting boundaries isn’t about being mean.
It’s about self-respect.
Here’s how to start:
1. Identify Who Needs Less Access to You
Make a list of people who:
- Consistently disrespect your boundaries.
- Take more than they give.
- Drain your energy instead of uplifting you.
- Make you feel small, anxious, or obligated.
This isn’t about being bitter—it’s about being honest.
If someone has repeatedly shown they can’t handle the privilege of access to you, it’s time to limit it.
2. Decide the Level of Restriction
Not every situation requires full-on cutting someone off. You get to decide what level of access makes sense.
- Level 1: Minor boundary shifts (ex: no longer responding immediately, limiting interactions).
- Level 2: Significant boundary shifts (ex: reducing time spent together, declining favors).
- Level 3: Full restriction (ex: blocking, cutting ties completely).
Not everyone needs the same level of access, and that’s okay.
3. Set & Enforce Boundaries Clearly
Once you decide who needs restricted access, communicate it clearly—through your actions, not just your words.
Examples:
- “I can’t drop everything to help anymore, I have my own priorities.”
- “I need to take a step back from this relationship.”
- “I’m not available to discuss this anymore.”
And most importantly: Stick to it.
Because when people realize you’re serious, they’ll do one of two things:
- Respect your boundary and adjust their behavior.
- Resist your boundary and push back harder.
If they respect it? Great.
If they resist it? That’s your confirmation that restricting their access was the right move.
4. Release the Guilt
It’s normal to feel guilty when you start enforcing boundaries.
But ask yourself:
"Would they feel guilty for how they treated me?"
Probably not.
You are not responsible for managing other people’s emotions—especially when they’ve repeatedly disregarded yours.
Becoming Unreachable: The Ultimate Power Move
When someone repeatedly abuses their access to you, the best response isn’t confrontation.
It’s distance.
Becoming unreachable means:
- You no longer entertain toxic energy.
- You stop making yourself available for mistreatment.
- You remove yourself from situations where your boundaries are not respected.
- You take back control over your time, energy, and peace.
This isn’t about playing games—it’s about reclaiming your power.
And trust me: When you start restricting access, people will notice.
Some will be angry. Some will play the victim. Some will try to manipulate their way back in.
But the ones who truly respect you? They’ll understand.
Real-Life Application: My Journey with Boundaries
There was a time when I let people have full access to me.
If someone needed something, I’d drop everything to help.
If someone disrespected me, I’d excuse it.
If someone drained my energy, I’d tolerate it.
Why?
Because I was scared to lose people.
But then I asked myself: “What do I really lose by keeping these people in my life?”
And the answer hit me hard:
I was losing myself.
So, I made the decision: Access denied.
And guess what happened?
- My energy skyrocketed.
- My confidence grew.
- My mental peace returned.
- And the right people—the ones who truly valued me—stayed.
The lesson? The right people will never require you to lower your standards or sacrifice your peace.
Exercise: Setting Boundaries That Stick
If you’re ready to start limiting access to those who abuse it, here’s a simple exercise:
Step 1: Identify Who Needs Restricted Access
Think of one person who consistently oversteps their boundaries with you.
Write down:
- How they make you feel.
- What patterns you’ve noticed.
- Why you’re choosing to limit access.
Step 2: Decide How You’ll Enforce It
Will you:
- Respond less frequently?
- Stop sharing personal details with them?
- Decline their requests more often?
- Fully cut them off?
Step 3: Follow Through
This is where most people struggle.
But remember:
- Boundaries are only real if you enforce them.
- You don’t owe anyone an explanation for protecting your peace.
- The right people will respect your limits.
Take action. You deserve to be in spaces that respect you.
Final Thought: Protect Your Energy at All Costs
Not everyone deserves access to you.
Not everyone gets to drain your energy.
Not everyone should have the privilege of your time.
If someone has repeatedly disrespected you, restrict access.
If someone constantly drains you, limit availability.
If someone doesn’t value your presence, remove it.
Because the moment you stop giving unlimited access to the wrong people…
You make space for the right ones.
And that shift?
Changes everything.
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