I don't know what is going on with me, I am feeling off.. more different than off. Today it hit me, I am not feeling off, I am just different now. This is my new normal. Last year effected me, it shook me to the core of who I was and what mattered to me. It felt like I was living in a movie. I lost my fiancé, we lost all of our savings, we lost our trust and worst of all we lost our bond over the money. I endured a mass shooting and will forever have a scar from the thoughts and memories of a single night. I went to Europe, I couldn’t bare to be here. I met the most amazing man, had a global romance and even had him home for Christmas. Only to eventually be reminded of what a broken heart really feels like. I lack the ability to connect to the things that mattered to me before. I see everything differently now. But for the first time in a long time I feel grounded. Grounded in reality. I had forgotten to be appreciative for all that I had. It is the only upside to experiencing pain or loss. When we experience loss, it is because we are reminded of what matters to us.